The Matrix: Poolside! No Reloading Necessary
by ThEmEtROiDHunTEr152
Summary: A funny fic about Morpheus, Trinity and Neo. They go to the pool and there's lots of weird stuff going on. I used the comedy style from "And then there was confusion". Chapter 2 is up after a hiatus the size of J-Lo's arse. R&R!
1. Going to the pool

The Matrix: Poolside! By themetroidhunter152  
  
tmh152: Hi everybody! Welcome to my latest fic. I now have my own, well, um.... intro buddy I like to call it. Everyone else has an intro, with someone else. Usually copies of them. Anywa-  
  
SA-X 152: I'm going to kill you!  
  
tmh152: No you're not. And that was rude. You interrupted me.  
  
SA-X 152: Oh boo hoo! Go shove it up your ass!  
  
tmh152: Whoah. He, er it, is good. Well, enjoy the fic while I go beat his, er, its ass. Enjoy!  
  
SA-X 152: *Runs away while screaming like a little girl* MOOOOMMMMMYYYY!  
  
tmh152- BTW, it's rated PG-13, almost R, for sexual content, language, and comic mischief. See ya!  
  
tmh152 starts chasing after SA-X 152.  
  
tmh152- Hey, you got a head start!  
  
SA-X 152- Because I'm smart!  
  
tmh152- that's news to me......  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ok. Neo, Morpheus, and Trinity are walking to the pool. Obviously, they're in the Matrix. 'Cause as far as we know, there are no pools in The Real World.  
  
Neo- So, Trinity, do you wear a leather bathing suit, too? nice and tight.... *pants*  
  
Trinity- No.  
  
Neo- Awwww, dangit.  
  
Trinity- By the way, I heard what you said.  
  
Neo- Uh-oh.  
  
Trinity- No, more than uh-oh.  
  
She does some kung-fu on him.  
  
Trinity- You know, I wonder how I hit him? After all, he is the One.  
  
Neo- Good point.  
  
Morpheus- Can we please focus here a little?  
  
Neo and Trinity at the same time- No.  
  
Trinity checks her watch.  
  
Trinity- Oh, Neo, we missed our doing it time.  
  
Neo- No wonder I have all of this pent-up energy in me.  
  
Neo and Trinity start doing it.  
  
Morpheus- Oh God.  
  
*1 hour, 47 minutes, and 13 seconds later*  
  
Neo- That was good.  
  
Trinity- Wow. You're definiteley getting better.  
  
Neo- Good. You're getting pretty good, too.  
  
Morpheus- Now that that's over, please get your clothes, er, bathing suits and then clothes back on, and get out of the street, because there's a traffic holdup.  
  
Neo and Trinity- (Still naked and in the middle of the road) Hi people! Sorry about that! We'll get out of the street now!  
  
A guy in his truck starts shooting at them.  
  
Neo does his leaning back/bullet time thing. Still naked. So his hwing-yaaa is right in front. He dodges all of the bullets.  
  
Guy in the truck- Get out of the street you ugly whore! And you too you ugly-ass dude showing off your hwing-yaaa while dodging bullets!  
  
Trinity- UGLY WHORE!????  
  
Neo- UGLY-ASS DUDE SHOWING OFF HIS HWING-YAAA WHILE DODGING BULLETS????!!! that's all?  
  
By the time Neo is done saying all of this, the Guy in the truck is dead. Trinity killed him.  
  
Trinity- You know, Neo, you talk too much. You could've had the honors.  
  
Neo- The honor of doing you twice in one day?  
  
Trinity- Erm, uh, no. 1. I meant killing the guy in the truck. and 2. we've already done that.  
  
Neo- Oh. 1. dangit and 2. what about 3 times?  
  
Trinity- 1. I know, it hurts and 2. We've done that, too. Just not 4 times.  
  
Neo- About number 2, um can I have that honor? And in regards too number 1, I'm considering that conversation over.  
  
Trinity- Ok. Number 2 is now 1. Number 1, No.  
  
Morpheus- That was fairly confusing.  
  
They continue walking to the pool.  
  
They get to the pool.  
  
They pay their money.  
  
They walk through the shower/restroom room.  
  
They meet on the other side.  
  
Morpheus- First of all, you know, I'm not really getting many lines. tmh152, can I have more lines?  
  
tmh152 from outside the story- Yes  
  
Morpheus- Ok.  
  
Morpheus- Now, where should we sit?  
  
Neo- I don't care.  
  
Trinity- Yeah, but that's you.  
  
Neo- It is? Just kidding.  
  
Trinity- I hope so.  
  
Morpheus is gone by this time.  
  
Neo- Where'd Morpheus go?  
  
Trinity- Probably to find a space.  
  
Neo and Trinity find him. The space is fairly close to the pool. The deep- er end. They lay their towels down and apply sunscreen.  
  
Trinity- You know, it's funny. We're putting on sunscreen, but when we get back to The Real World, we won't be burnt if we don't. But it'll save us the temporary pain of sunburn.  
  
Neo- Sunburn. When I would go swimming at the pool, I always would get sunburnt. It hurt.  
  
Trinity- What did you expect?  
  
Neo- Ice Cream.  
  
Trinity- That was random. And stupid.  
  
Neo- Actually, I always put sunscreen on. SPF 30, I think.  
  
Trinity- And you still got sunburnt?  
  
Neo- Well, you see, I didn't reapply.  
  
Morpheus- I find this conversation boring. And I'm still not getting very many lines. Give me more tmh152. Or I'll come right out of this story, and whoop 'yo ass so bad, that 'yo momma won't even recognize you.  
  
tmh152- Jeez, alright.....  
  
Morpheus- Good. Now I'm going to do what I came here to do.  
  
Neo- Get ice cream?  
  
Morpheus- Once again, that was random. And stupid. No, I'm going to go swim.  
  
Neo- Oh. Well I'm going to go off the diving board.  
  
Trinity- The high dive?  
  
Neo- Yup.  
  
Trinity- ooohhh, such a man.  
  
Neo- I heard that. And I liked it.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Ok, pretty good if I do say so myself. Weird, but good. If you didn't like the Neo/Trinity doing it thing, then, oh well I guess. My first try at a Matrix fic. I used the comedy style introduced in "And then there was confusion" by ThatBloodyElvenMooseGirl. Thanks TBEMG! And keep it up on "And then there was confusion"! Please review. You've already read. So now review. Review!  
  
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	2. Is that Agent Smith?

The Matrix: Poolside! Part 2........  
  
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tmh152: Hello everyone! We're now back with another chapter in The Matrix: Poolside! Sorry for the delay, but I've been kind of busy. Once again, Samus is here as well as-  
  
SA-X: Me!  
  
tmh152: Yes, you. Don't start interrupting. Or you will die just like SA- X152.  
  
SA-X: Ok.  
  
Samus: Hello.  
  
tmh152: Welcome, Samus.  
  
Samus: My pleasure.  
  
tmh152: Please don't say anything at the same time, Samus and SA-X. SA-X?  
  
(SA-X is skipping around in a tutu and then starts twirling)  
  
tmh152: Um.............. Let's just get to the story, huh? We'll talk about this later.............  
  
Samus: Well, at least I won't have to worry about saying anything at the same time as him, er, it. So lets just leave him, er, it.  
  
(SA-X suddenly stops dancing and walks over)  
  
SA-X: Why does everyone always call me he, or she, first, and then stop and say, er or erm, and then say it?  
  
tmh152: Um, dunno. Ok, to the story.  
  
SA-X: No, I want an answe-  
  
(I(tmh152) slap my hand over his, erm, it's mouth and snicker)  
  
tmh152: Eh, hehehehehe, nothing!  
  
SA-X: hrmmmmmhemrmmrjhrff!  
  
tmh152: nothing! To the story!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
(Neo is on the high dive; 30ft., it's a 20 ft. deep pool)  
  
Neo- ........ *whimpers*  
  
Neo- What should I do? I don't wanna look like a wussy and I'm a grown man and so..........  
  
He jumps off.  
  
Neo- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
  
SSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Trinity sitting on her towl watching- What was that?  
  
(He was waving his arms and held his nose like a little girl when he was done screaming)  
  
30 minutes later.........  
  
Trinity- Morpheus, you know, Neo still hasn't come up.  
  
Morpheus- Yes! I mean, erm, yeah.  
  
Trinity smacks Morpheus.  
  
Morpheus- Ow.  
  
Trinity- Lets go save him.  
  
They both get up, after Morpheus puts balloons where boobs would be if he was a girl. They start running toward the pool, they're boobs and balloons start shaking, and they're in slow motion like on baywatch.  
  
They jump in the pool. They save him. They bring him out.  
  
45 minutes later back at their place..........................  
  
Trinity- Will you ever stop coughing up water?  
  
Neo- I dono. *pukes up more*  
  
Morpheus- .................... That was random.  
  
Trinity- How much do you got?  
  
Neo- You mean sperm?  
  
Trinity punches Neo.  
  
Trinity- No, water.  
  
Neo- Oh. I dono. *Pukes up more*  
  
Trinity- Oy.  
  
Morpheus- You know, there's........(counts) 10 other people here. And the deep end is closed. Ya wanna skinny-dip?  
  
Trinity- We'll get in trouble.  
  
Morpheus- We can kill them.  
  
Trinity- Good point. Come on Neo.  
  
Neo- SKINNY DIP! SKINNY DIP! SKINNY- OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!  
  
(Trinity punched him like, 10 times)  
  
Trinity- Don't advertise it!  
  
Neo- Can I advertise this?  
  
He pulls a Hot Dog Stand out of his bag of stuff.  
  
Neo- Come get yer hot dogs! Fresh off the grill! Get yer hot dogs! Screw the concession stand! Come get yer hot dogs!  
  
Trinity gets an anime-ish look on her face and falls over anime style.  
  
A crowd goes over to Neo's hot dog stand and starts ordering hot dogs.  
  
Morpheus- Do I get a cut of the cash?  
  
Neo- No.  
  
Morpheus starts crying.  
  
Trinity pats Morpheus.  
  
Trinity- There, there, Morpheus.  
  
Neo- There what?  
  
Trinity- There this.  
  
She jumps on Neo and starts beating him up. Then they start kissing. And then start stripping each other.  
  
Neo- I'm all pent up, baby!  
  
They start having sex.  
  
Morpheus- Oh God. Ya know what? Talk about Deja Vu.  
  
Neo and Trinity- What?  
  
Neo- Oh no! They changed something!  
  
Agent Smith walks in.  
  
Smith- Mr. Anderson! Hi!  
  
Neo- Uh.............. Hi?  
  
Smith- Having some fun, eh?  
  
They're still naked and holding each other.  
  
They put their bathing suits back on and Neo packs up his stand.  
  
Neo- Sorry, store's closed.  
  
Random Guy- But you were just having sex.  
  
Neo- Not that store!  
  
Random Guy- Shutup.  
  
Neo- DON'T YOU TELL ME TO SHUTUP! I'M THE ONE!  
  
Random Guy- What the hell is the One?  
  
Neo- YOU MEAN WHO! AND IT'S ME! AND NOW YOU DIE!  
  
Neo shoots him with a gun that was in his bag.  
  
Smith- You're under arrest for murder in the first degree, Mr. Anderson.  
  
Neo- tmh152, can we stop the story already? This chapter is awful long.  
  
tmh152(me)- Yeah, sure.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
tmh152- Hi again! How'd ya like the story? Good! Now, back with Samus.  
  
Samus- I liked it. It was funny.  
  
SA-X- Hi.  
  
tmh152- No, bye.  
  
SA-X- Huh?  
  
I knock out SA-X.  
  
Samus- Nice.  
  
tmh152- Cool. Well, see y'all next chapter! Stay Tuned!  
  
Samus- Peace out, yo! (She gives the peace sign)  
  
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End file.
